Too Late for Regret
by idontknowanything
Summary: I hear their laughter, trailing me out of the school. Even a block away, I still hear it. Everyone laughing at me, all of them laughing, ruining my life." Another one shot look at another character’s thoughts about season 4 events.


3rd installment in what is turning out to be a series of one-shot looks at character's thoughts on season 4 events. I'll again let you guess who it is. This does not contain any spoilers for episodes not seen in U.S. yet. Deals with a very sensitive subject

Summary: I hear their laughter, trailing me out of the school. Even a block away, I still hear it. Everyone laughing at me, all of them laughing, ruining my life. Another one shot look at another character's thoughts about season 4 events.

Spoilers/Pairings: No pairings, events mentioned end at Time Stands Still Part 2

Too Late For Regret 

I hear their laughter, trailing me out of the school. Even a block away, I still hear it. Everyone laughing at me, all of them laughing, ruining my life. Life ruiners, all of them. I had changed. But they couldn't see that. They didn't want to see that. So now I will make them all pay.

Revenge is what keeps me going, as I trudge through the streets of Toronto, making my way those 4 blocks home. Never have those 4 blocks seemed longer as they do today, as I trudge along, leaving a fluffy yellow trail behind me. I start to entertain myself by making my list.

My list is very logical. Logic is my cold comfort to drown out their laughter. But their laughter never completely gone, as it continues to haunt me. I wish I could put everybody who was laughing on my list. But my list can only consist of 6. Five of them, and 1 of me.

Who should be at the top of my list? It's almost a tie, but I think Spinner has made the top of the class. Which is quite an accomplishment for him, as he would never be at the top of the class for anything (except maybe if there was an award for being the biggest idiot or something.) But Spinner has made the top of my list, with Jay following close behind.

So, two down, three more to go. I'll be nice, and let Alex go right after her boyfriend, since they are never apart. Probably the first time someone like Alex has ever come ahead of someone like Paige. Which leads me to number 4 on my list, Paige. The beautiful Paige Michaelchuck, biggest witch of them all.

And of course, number 5…. Emma…. So beautiful, but such as tease. She flirted with me, made me think she liked me… How dare she PITY me? I feel the anger bubbling up, but quickly push it down. Anger is not logical. And I must be logical, because I just made it home. Time to go find my friend. My only friend…

As I get my friend out of his box, I replay my humiliation in my mind. It helps me stay focused on my goal. I do not take time to clean up, before heading back to school. To clean up, given my plans for the day, would not be logical.

The trip back to school seems to take less time – maybe because I have my friend to keep me company. As I head up the step to the school, I hear them laughing. I am comforted in the fact that they will not be laughing soon. Toby comes up to me, trying to comfort me, but I barely listen. I am focused on my list, and continue into the school to find Spinner.

I run into Paige in the cafeteria, and she comes up to talk to me. I was going to follow my list in order, but as she is right here, it would probably save time to let her go first. But what she says… It wasn't what I expected her to say. And I start to think… What am I doing?

I put my friend away, calming down as I place the cold metal into my backpack. I put my backpack into my locker, and head to the bathroom to clean up. I can't go through with my plan. I can't.

As I'm in the bathroom, I hide as I hear two of my worst tormentors come in. And I find out the truth… Betrayed by Jimmy, by a friend. Life ruiners, all of them. Suddenly, my list has changed. Paige is replaced by Spinner, and my list has a new number 1.

I find number one at his locker. He tries to tell me how sorry he is. Life ruiner… He'll see… And he does see, as I pull my friend out of my backpack. He looks scared, and I feel god-like. I think I enjoy that look of fear on his face, as I aim my friend at him. He starts to run away, and I close my eyes, as I pull the trigger.

I walk away, leaving him lie there on the floor of the hallway. Students are running, and the corridor I am in is empty. I feel powerful in a way I have never felt before. Then I see her, walking down another hallway. I turn, and head her way. She is with Toby and Sean, and all of them are trying to figure out what is going on. I see the fear in Sean's eyes as he realizes I have a gun. I tell her why I am doing this. She needs to know why. Sean tries to protect her, he tries to talk to me, but he doesn't know it's too late. I have to finish my list.

I raise my friend and aim at Emma. That fear on her face… I feel vindicated. But suddenly, I am wrestling with Sean for the gun. I hear it go off, as we fall to the floor. It takes me a few seconds to realize I was shot.

Now I lay there, feeling my blood soaking me, the floor, everything. Suddenly, I know I am going to die. I look at Emma, who is holding on to Toby as if she will never let him go. It wasn't her fault that she didn't like me. She was nice to me. Why did I want to shoot her? Oh god, I shot Jimmy, I killed him. Suddenly, my mind clears, for a moment. Oh god, what did I do? As I close my eyes and feel myself slip into unconscious, I realize it's too late for regret. I'm going to die a murderer.

Author's Note:

I know Jimmy didn't die, but I believe that the character whose point of view this is from thought he was when he left him in the hallway. He was lying there, on the floor, shot and unconscious, so he probably did think he killed him.


End file.
